underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
