office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize