At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
