1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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