Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
