I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
