This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
you're hired as official boob wrangler
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
