my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
