i will never coherently bang her
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize