I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize