their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize