whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
