He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
