So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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