I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Randomize
