small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Randomize
