But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
His nipple licking is glorious
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