he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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