At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize
