She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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