there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
