I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Vodka?
Forever.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
