does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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