I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
