wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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