found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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