fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My penis needs a shock collar
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
