Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
