You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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