What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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