you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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