It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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