Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
