How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
