Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Randomize
