Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
