Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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