just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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