Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize