You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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