I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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