So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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