my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize