Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
