why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
