I'm eating all of the evidence.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
