Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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