somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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