Me. At least after what I've been through.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize