How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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