she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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