i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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