so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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