At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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