this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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