I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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