I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
