have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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