Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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