so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
