I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
